Column: Goin' to the Gym! (aka Mimi's House of Pain)

After a really inexcusable passage of time, I knew I needed to head back to the gym. And if you've known me very long, you also know that I can't do much of anything without it becoming one of my newspaper columns...

Now. Is this how you think of the gym? The picture below? Because I do. In my heart I know that going to the gym will be a wonderful, serene experience -- meditational, even. Because the gym is a place to re-connect with your body. To blend and balance the outside world harmoniously with your thoughts and the tidal pull of your bodily rhythms. That's what you're THINKING, right? Yeah. Me, too. Just me and the gym. Taking myself to a higher place.
So I arrive at the gym in my current physical condition - not exactly a well-honed machine, sadly. That's right, my body is more in the condition of last night's cream puff. But no matter. Soon I will be serenely working out, alone in my world, releasing those toxins and the bad karma...filling my lungs with the ether of the universe...all alone...blissfully alone.........in the lovely gym.

And ok. Here are some of the guys already entrenched in the gym when I arrive and with whom I am about to share "my" gym. On my machines. Lifting my weights. Well, not my weights exactly since I am personally unable (at the moment) to bench press a Clydesdale. So right now I feel a little....well, intimidated.

Ah! No worries, though. Because here comes David; my personal trainer. And this is where the column takes off. To read about my personal House of Pain, simply click on the "The Column" link above. And send me pain pills. Please? Lots and lots of pain pills...Bye for now...